Black Mamba

viernes, mayo 01, 2009


I hurt myself today,
to see if i still feel,
i focus on the pain,
the only thing thats real,
The needle tears a hole,
the old familiar sting,
try to kill it all away,
but i remember everything,

what have i become,
my sweetest friend,
everyone i know,
goes away in the end,
And you could have it all,
my empire of dirt,
i will let you down,
i will make you hurt,
I wear this crown of thorns,
upon my liars chair,
full of broken thoughts,
i cannot repair,
Beneath the stains of time,
the feelings dissapear,
you are someone else,
i am still right here,
What have i become,
my sweetest friend,
everyone i know,
goes away in the end,
And you could have it all,
my empire of dirt,
i will let you down,
i will make you hurt,
If i could start again,
a million miles away,
i will keep myself,
i would find a way

Trent Reznor NIN - cantada Johnny Cash

In Other Words: Trent Reznor

Industrial heavyweight delivers a eulogy for a country legend


When Johnny Cash first told me he was recording the Nine Inch Nails song "Hurt," I was immediately struck by how brilliant that was. "When I heard that song, I thought, 'That sounds like something I could've written in the Sixties,'" Cash said about the original version. "There's more heart and soul and pain in that song than any that's come along in a long time. I love it." Cash then took Trent Reznor's tortured rendering of the agony of addiction and transformed it into a stunning meditation on mortality itself.

Then came Mark Romanek's video. Cash, withered by his illness, bravely allowed himself to be shown exactly as he looked, juxtaposed with images of him as a young man that bristle with virility and life. It is a stunning statement of his artistic integrity and his commitment to the truth.

When I wrote Cash's obituary for Rolling Stone, I wanted to speak with Reznor about Cash's interpretation of the song and Romanek's video. Even though the video had attracted a huge amount of attention -- earning seven nominations at MTV's Video Music Awards and winning one -- Reznor had not publicly spoken about it. I knew that he would have something powerful to say, and he did.

In In Other Words, a longer version of this interview appears in a section called "Cash Family Values," that also includes interviews with Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash, Rosanne Cash, Bono and Tom Petty.

How did you first find out that Johnny Cash wanted to record "Hurt"?

I've been friends with Rick Rubin for quite a while, and he asked me how I would feel about Johnny Cash doing one of my songs. I thought, "Wow," because my songs have been my therapy, a vehicle for me to keep sane. I've never really thought about writing songs for other people, and I've never tried to pitch my songs to people. And that song in particular came from a pretty private, personal place. So it seemed, well, like that's my song.

Johnny Cash had always been this mysterious figure to me. My grandfather had listened to him. I'd never paid that much attention to him. But he was one of the few greats left, a real individual persona.

Rick sent me a CD of it. I listened to it, and it seemed incredibly strange and wrong to me to hear that voice with my song. I thought, "Here's this thing that I wrote in my bedroom in a moment of frailty, and now Johnny Cash is singing it." It kind of freaked me out.

Did you say any of that to Rick?

Rick asked what I thought, and I said, "You did a very tasteful job with it" -- which I did think and do think. It was a big juxtaposition for me to hear it as someone else's song now. It instantly became his song after that.

Then I heard that Mark was campaigning to do a video for it. If I had to list the people that I had the most respect for in the music business, Mark and Rick would be on that list. I saw the video and it took my breath away. Immediately my throat had a lump in it, and at that point, it really struck home. It was heartbreaking. I had goosebumps, which I have right now even thinking about it. It became really inspiring to me.

What did you find inspiring about it?

It reminded me of the power of music. Something that I made in my room, that came out of my little private backyard -- to have an icon like Johnny Cash juxtapose it into something that now, especially with the aid of that video, gives it a whole different set of scenery and a backdrop and a context to listen to it in. It works. And it probably works better than my version.

I was sad about the context with Johnny, but I felt honored to be a part of it. I spoke with Mark about this the other day, when I heard that he died. This artist deserves and demands respect from a new generation that wasn't that aware of him. It's nice that we were able to present him to a new world of fans, even though, unfortunately, it's the end of his life. The MTV exposure, even though they were cowards to not give him the awards he deserved, might open a lot of people up who weren't that aware of Johnny Cash, or of his importance. I felt honored to have been involved in that in any way, but I'm sad that it's a eulogy almost.

When you say it felt "wrong," what felt wrong about it to you?

It felt invasive. It was my child. It was like I was building a home, and someone else moved into it. When I write a song, I'm only considering myself as the one narrating it. It's my voice. So it did seem very odd at first. Also, as soon as you hear his voice, you go, "That's Johnny Cash." How fucking weird is that? Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would write a song that Johnny Cash wanted to sing. I never thought that our paths would intersect.

How has all this affected your own relationship to "Hurt"?

I haven't listened to my version since then. I've been so proud of what they've done with it that I haven't thought that much about it. I'm over my initial shock, and I realize that's what music's all about. I've thrown some things in the pot, and now it's turned into something else. It's a pretty powerful thing.

From Anthony DeCurtis' collection of interviews, In Other Words.

lunes, abril 27, 2009

a little something..

-Alguien te preguntó algo?
-Si, toodoos... muy raro!
-!!! .. y tú qué respondiste?
-Pues la verdad
-qué verdad? (in my mind = que yo te amo y tu no a mi.. que nunca me vas a amar.. que yo lloro y tu no.. que yo sufro y tu no... que te espero en slencio y tu no a mi... que espero tu llamada y tu no la mia... que te busco y te busco y te busco y no te he podido encontrar, o mejor, no te has dejado encontrar por mi... que no puedo parar de decir Te amo, para conformarme con una sonrisita nerviosa y un Te quiero... que doy más por ti que lo que pensaria que tendría para dar y que de nuevo, debo conformarme con una sonrisita y un Te quiero... que tengo un sentimienot de culpa tenaz por el pasado que no se me sale del pecho y que tu te cagas de susto de mirarme a los ojos... )
-nada, pues que estuvimos juntos y ahora estamos como volviendo a hablar.....
-ah, ok.. bien...

jueves, abril 02, 2009

Qué sé yo...


domingo, marzo 22, 2009

Le petit Prince

"Te Busco, sí, asi como la cancion de la pelicula: te busco"..... te busco en la gente que veo y conozco... en los nuevos y viejos amigos... busco tu risa, tu olor y tu piel... busco tus defectos, porque son los defectos que me gustan... espero verte y encontrarte.. espero sentirte... olerte... verte... te busco en el futuro y no suelto tu pasado... te busco para no volver a perderte... busco tu locura y tu musica.. busco tus ojos entre millones de ojos... y tu boca entre millones de bocas.. busco no buscarte y meterte en Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind para no poder nunca encontrarte porque no voy a querer buscarte... te busco dentro de mi, como si pudiera hacerte nacer de nuevo, como si pudiera poner Play en vez de Stop... "Amor mío, no te quiero por vos ni por mí ni por los dos juntos, no te quiero porque la sangre me llame a quererte, te quiero porque no sos mío, porque estás del otro lado, ahí donde me invitás a saltar y no puedo dar el salto, porque en lo más profundo de la posesión no estás en mí, no te alcanzo"... no se... depronto solo te busco para no encontrarte....

So Broken

Ya... tuve un descrubrimiento grande... es mejor escribir mal, vuelta nada.. es mas facil.. por alguna razon, todo fluye mejor.. las letras y palabran salen casi solas.. es un gran deleite escribir asi.. sin nada en mente y con todo en la mierda.. untado de mierda, quiero decir.... entre So Broken de Bjork y The Boss Americana de Albert Hammond Jr., no hay nada mas que decir.. sobran tanto las palabras despues de oir esas dos canciones, que solo se puede recurrir a escribir, sin lagrimas..con todas las lagrimas... sin corazon... ycon todo el corazon...

"Well you're all I know
And I don't want you to stay
Oh won't you please let me go
I wouldn't have you that way
Disperse our love
If you won't ask me to pay"

Disperse our love.. L.O.V.E.......L.O.V.E.. ..... L.O.V.E.....
"So broken,
In pieces,
My heart is so broken,
I'm puzzling."

Tal vez mi problema de escritura es la falta de crisis.. las crisis de vida, ayudan a superar las crisis literarias.. es como un ciclo... como uno y otro y viceversa... yo no escribo de cariñositos, ni de amor, ni de felicidad.. ni de cielos azules... yo escribo de Tristella, la niña que nacio destinada a estar triste... y para poder describirla bien, tengo que ser ella un poco... solo que a veces me meto mucho... como los pobres actores que terminan muriendo de locura... locura fatal por meterse mucho en sus personajes...

"this is my heart... Can you feel it? it's broken"........ como la película... como si mi vida no fuera suficiente pelicula... una pelicula dirigida por Dali, con ayuda de buñuel, dialogos de Cortazar, escenografia de Picasso, personajes de Kundera y Sabato y banda sonora entre el blues y el son y portishead y arctic monkeys .. entre bossa nova y bjork....entre johnny cash y janis joplin... con mucha ironia y un exceso de sensibilidad altamente perjudicial... una película caótica, fuerte y depresiva.. con algo de Paris y Londres.. y un poco de Bogotá y de tu casa y la mia... una pelicula para ser protagonisada por Audrey Hepburn en blanco y negro... si, sobre todo eso, en blanco y negro....

muchos puentes tenidos de un solo lado... de un solo extremo.. muchos puentes imposibles.. inservibles.. imaginarios... muchos puentes caidos..... mucha incoherencia.. todo muy politicamente incorrecto y todo muy doloroso y jodido............y muchos millones de puntos suspensivos... y ya......

miércoles, marzo 04, 2009

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?

Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat, and maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

domingo, febrero 08, 2009

Warning sign

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized,
That you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...

domingo, enero 11, 2009

We might as well be strangers...

Es demasiado decepcionante este mundo.... van 900 muertos en Gaza por la ofensiva Israelí... es demasiado triste.. y mal.. esta mal.. mal... no puedo pensar que tenga nada bueno y nada justificable... llegaron, los sacaron de su territorio, su Estado dejó de existir, y encima los bombardean hasta la muerte... y los palestinos, es decir, los árabes que viven en Gaza, porque ya ni Palestina existe, qué? que putas? qué desgracia este mundo! es increible... y nada, no hay nada que hacer, hasta que se le pase el capricho al Primer Ministro Israelí porque ahí si nadie se mete... qué viva la cobardía! Qué vivan los intereses de la gente que está en el poder! mientras mueren personas, miles de personas, millones de personas, en todo el mundo.. en Colombia, en Gaza, en el Líbano, en Croacia, en Irán, en Afganistán.... y todos sentados mirando la tele.... porque no hay nada que hacer ... nada.. solo sentarse a ver la tele y escribir un post idiota que no va a cambiar nada, pero seguramente va a ayudarme a sentirme un poco menos pasiva frente a la situacion.